As I sit here on the morning of Valentine’s Day and think about the flowers, rings & presents that are about to fill our newsfeed, I wanted to chat with you about the importance of knowing yours and your spouses love language.
Glen and I talked about this recently (yes after 8 years, we’re finally figuring this out). I’ve always had an idea about how Glen received love but we never really talked about it. If you are not familiar, there are 5 love languages created by Gary Chapman. His book outlines the 5 ways to express and experience love.
The 5 love languages include:
To find out what your love language is, take this quiz!
As I said above, our news feed is going to fill with photos of flowers and gifts but if Glen doesn’t come home with a present I’m not going to feel unloved. Neither of our love languages is receiving gifts. I would much rather he take the time to tell me I’m beautiful (words of affirmation) and make me dinner (acts of service). Yesterday, Glen cleaned my car and shovelled the driveway so I could go to the boxing gym. That meant more to me than any box of chocolates.
But maybe receiving gifts is your love language, that’s great! Just be sure your partner knows that & make sure you take the time to show them love in their language.
Just because my love language is words of affirmation, doesn’t mean my partners is. Glen’s is physical touch & quality time. We tend to give love in the way we like to receive it but that doesn’t work. If your love language is receiving gifts but your spouses are acts of service, there is some major miscommunication happening and that’s how we can get hurt on holidays like this. You need to understand that just because your spouse didn’t come home with flowers, doesn’t mean they aren’t thinking of you, it means that they had no idea that’s the way you receive love.
This conversation is SO important to have. Be open about what makes you feel loved and try to learn what your spouse needs to feel love. Relationships are about sacrifice and sometimes that means showing you care in different ways.
Today is about giving love, no matter what that means in your relationships. Be open to how your spouse shows you love and communicate if there’s something else you can be doing. You can actually use the love language in all your relationships, with your family, kids, friends, coworkers, etc. Because we can express love in many different ways, it’s important to be aware and show the ones you love how you care, it’s a bonus if you can do so in the right language.