Whats holding you back?

Today I wanted to chat with you about the things holding you back from living your truth. 

You hear it on my podcast a lot – live your truth, be you, be courageous and show up as you but I know that’s easier said than done. 

Let me tell you a bit about my truth with this – for me it was the fear of being BIG – I don’t mean physically but I do mean in life. I hold myself back for the fear of judgement or even praise from others. We’re taught to play small so the idea of being big is scary!

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FEAR OF FAILURE

Fear of failure holds you back because when you’re afraid to fail, you’re afraid to risk anything. 

You reject opportunities for growth or advancement because it means stepping outside your comfort zone and opening yourself up to failing. 

So you stay in the same role even though you have nothing left to learn. You stay at the same job you hate because you’re afraid to fail in a new role at a new company. You daydream about starting your own business, but never do more than dabble because you’re afraid to fail in such a public way.

But here’s the thing. If you want to get a promotion, start your own company, change careers – you need to accept that risk is part of the package. As the old saying goes, nothing ventured, nothing gained. 

You HAVE to risk failure and lean into the uncertainty in order to succeed. It is simply not possible to stay “safe” and crush your goals at the same time. You have to be bold and take action, regardless of the outcome.

Ask yourself this – what’s worse, failing in front of everyone I know OR staying miserable for the rest of my life. 

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LACK OF CONFIDENCE

That’s why you’re here, right? We’re all figuring this one out together. When you have a lack of confidence you will have trouble connecting with others and asking for what you want whether that’s a promotion, a new role, or the sale. 

Instead, you wait for these things to be handed to you. You hope that if you work hard enough, your boss will notice and give you the raise you’ve been thinking about. 

You tell yourself that if you’re nice enough to the prospective client, they’ll just decide to give you their business.

But it doesn’t work like that. You NEED to learn how to connect with others, articulate your value, and ask for what you want in a way that serves others. We call that “WIFThem”. ..What’s in it for them. Which again goes back to working on the relationship you have with yourself so you can know your story and what you have to give to others.

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IMPOSTER SYNDROME

Imposter syndrome is that feeling that you’re a fake. That “other people will find them out”. That if people get too close, if they spend too much time with them, they will discover that they’re not as talented, smart, creative, innovative, imaginative, etc. as they’ve made themselves out to be. 

But if you want the career you’ve always dreamed of, you need to find a way to show your value and be vulnerable, which is one of the key leadership traits for success. 

Once you can share who you truly are, you’ll be able to make it about others. 

You can’t make it about others if you can’t be vulnerable and connect with them to find out what they truly care about! So until you let go of this fear that you’ll be found out as a fraud, which you won’t, you’re going to struggle to connect and move forward in your career.

Actions we take that hold ourselves back:

• Agreeing with others
• Numbing
• Playing small
• Inability to take action

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Life is going to pass you by. We don’t know when our last day will be. Do you really want to be sitting on your death bed thinking I should have done that, I should have

You know I hate the word should but when it’s your last day on earth, there’s no other word to use when you have regrets. 

Writing those words makes me sad. That’s why I’m so grateful you are alive listening to this today because YOU HAVE TIME to fix this. 

You have time to live your truth – you could do it right now. You could walk out to your family and say – hey, im passionate about training dogs. Hey, I want to start a business. Hey, I want to *insert your truth*. 

It’s time to take some risks because your life depends on it.

Future you will be SO grateful you took some risks today. 

Want to dive into this topic more? Check out episode 67 of the Self(ish) Confidence Podcast.